since childhood, I've felt this extreme pressure from society (as many of us have) to 'fit in'. when I was younger and hadn't yet overcome my intense shyness and social anxiety (or atleast gotten really good at pretending I have) this urge to feel 'part of the crowd' or to look a certain way, act a certain way, BE a certain way- was overwhelming. It wasn't until I was about twenty one that I started not giving a shit. that's not to say I'm never affected by the judgments others cast upon me. I'm a human being- and a very sensitive one at that- so of course there are times where I let the thoughts and actions of others affect me more than I would like them to. however, the older I get, the more I pride myself in not blending in and losing my individuality amongst the masses, being myself- unapologetically. NOT fitting in, but 'fitting out'. since moving to a small town in the midwest, I've gotten a large dose of the reality that a LOT of people SUCK. they suck because they judge people based solely on appearance and don't care to know you beyond their preconceived notion of who they think you might be. 'fitting in' is of great importance to most people here (and sadly, most places). and sorry, but I'm not sorry for not giving two shits about that. It's a blessing and a curse in that it's the ultimate test of my ability to rise above ignorance, unwarranted judgment, and staying true to my weird, emotional, awkward self. going to the grocery store has even become a spectacle, and with each glare I receive and childish whispering and gawking I witness, I get just a little better at shrugging it off. fitting out is something we should pride ourselves in. we should never have to think twice about being ourselves, whoever that may be. and you slowly begin to realize the more you apply this mindset to your life, the more like-minded, funny, intelligent, and unapologetically weird people you will attract; and the more unexpectedly colorful and strangely beautiful your life will become. FIT OUT FOR LIFE FRIENDS!
<3 happy you're fitting out :)
ReplyDeleteHey beautiful. I can relate cuz I felt really weird when I went to the super Walmart in Sallisaw OK (where super Walmart is basically all they have). We were visiting my grandparents and it made me realize just how odd the middle of the country can be. And I'm not even as striking as you, I've just got a bunch of tattoos. So I think it's awesome that you're shrugging off the people who think they are so cool to judge you (a goddess)
ReplyDeleteI feel like you just read my thoughts. Thank you so much for writing this.
ReplyDeleteAs someone said, "a goddess" that is you. I pray you keep on smilin at them because then they can get a glimps of the light. Don't stop girl this world needs you & what you wrote (so perfectly) I have truly been trying to figure out in godly eyes. You said it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Your soul <3
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