can'tfindthewords

ten things I wish I could say to ten different people (without using names):

1. I worry about the choices you make and the people you surround yourself with. I worry you will become someone I know you're not.
2. I miss you everyday, and I'm just now realizing the impact you had on my life. I wish you were still here so I could tell you that. And how much I love you.
3. Sometimes, I wish you were more careful with your words and the way you speak to me. I wish you knew how bad it hurts when you act like you don't care.
4.  What makes you think you have the right to judge others and the way they choose to live their life? Sometimes I can't see past the phony mask you use to hide the real you anymore. And that scares me.
5. Even though we are close again, I can never forgive myself for the time we wasted being distant.
6.  I love you so much and I only want to protect you from all the sadness in the world.
7.  I look up to you in every way, and I wish I told you that more often
8.  I'm going to prove you wrong. I'm going to make you regret ever doubting me.
9.  I love you more than you know. And sometimes, loving so much makes you crazy. Sometimes it makes you sick. Sometimes it makes you laugh til it hurts. Sometimes it makes you cry. Sometimes it makes you someone you never thought you'd be, and sometimes it makes you exactly who you'd always hoped you would be.
10. I feel like you've left me behind

nine things about myself:
1. I'm extremely scatter brained, always hopping from one thought to the next
2. I love to laugh, especially at myself
3. I love my dogs more than most people
4. I'm extremely sensitive and emotional
5. I'm ridiculously clumsy, and I'm always stubbing toes or tripping over inanimate objects
6.  I'm probably the weirdest person I know
7. I become a recluse when I'm sad or depressed
8. I watch too much reality t.v.
9.  My eyes change color depending on what I'm wearing, the weather, and my mood..seriously

eight ways to win my heart:
1. make me laugh
2. confide in me
3. being trustworthy and caring
4. back scratches
5.  being a good listener
6. having dreams and goals in common
7. putting family first
8. being dependable

seven things that cross my mind a lot:
1. my love
2. my future
3. my family
4. worrying about how time seems to pass by so quickly
5. outfit planning-makes me giddy
6. how badly I wish I could hop on a plane and wake up on the beaches of a Grecian island
7.  FOOD

six things I do before I fall asleep:
1. brush teeth
2. wash my face
3. brush my hair
4. think of everything I want to accomplish the next day
5. put my t.v. on sleep timer
6. take a moment to realize how lucky I am with all I've been blessed with,
    and say my prayers

five people who mean a lot:
1. my boyfriend Gil
2. my entire family (I know that's kinda cheating but oh well)
3. my soul sista Lulu
4. my long lost East coast besties Neg & Megs
5. My doggies Ava and Saki! They're people toooooo

..and so many more

four things I'm wearing:
1. h&m bathing suit
2. loose striped tee (beach cover up)
3. truth ring
4. claddagh ring

three songs I listen to often:
I listen to soooo many,
but the songs on my various blogs are probably the most listened to lately sooo..

1. It Is Not Meant To Be - Tame Impala
2. All I Want- Kate Earl
3. Backyards Of Our Neighbors- Au Revoir Simone
ooh ooh, and I'm gonna cheat one last time. My favorite song to listen to when I'm sad or stressing, or just because: Fleetwood Mac- Dreams

two things I want to do before I die:
1. travel the world
2. start a family of my own

one confession:
I'm extremely hard on myself. I don't let things go easily and I worry too much about little things that are really just a waste of time. I think that goes along with my over-analytical mind and the fact that I tend to be quite neurotic. I want to become better at letting things brush off my shoulders and moving forward without letting past experiences (good or bad) hold me back.

 photo from Alone in Barcelone, Jalouse May 2011