fitting out

since childhood, I've felt this extreme pressure from society (as many of us have) to 'fit in'. when I was younger and hadn't yet overcome my intense shyness and social anxiety (or atleast gotten really good at pretending I have) this urge to feel 'part of the crowd' or to look a certain way, act a certain way, BE a certain way- was overwhelming. It wasn't until I was about twenty one that I started not giving a shit. that's not to say I'm never affected by the judgments others cast upon me. I'm a human being- and a very sensitive one at that- so of course there are times where I let the thoughts and actions of others affect me more than I would like them to. however, the older I get, the more I pride myself in not blending in and losing my individuality amongst the masses, being myself- unapologetically. NOT fitting in, but 'fitting out'. since moving to a small town in the midwest, I've gotten a large dose of the reality that a LOT of people SUCK. they suck because they judge people based solely on appearance and don't care to know you beyond their preconceived notion of who they think you might be. 'fitting in' is of great importance to most people here (and sadly, most places). and sorry, but I'm not sorry for not giving two shits about that. It's a blessing and a curse in that it's the ultimate test of my ability to rise above ignorance, unwarranted judgment, and staying true to my weird, emotional, awkward self. going to the grocery store has even become a spectacle, and with each glare I receive and childish whispering and gawking I witness, I get just a little better at shrugging it off. fitting out is something we should pride ourselves in. we should never have to think twice about being ourselves, whoever that may be. and you slowly begin to realize the more you apply this mindset to your life, the more like-minded, funny, intelligent, and unapologetically weird people you will attract; and the more unexpectedly colorful and strangely beautiful your life will become. FIT OUT FOR LIFE FRIENDS!



(wearing thrifted tee, vintage/diy skirt, vintage boots)
I had forgotten about these photos until I was scanning through my camera the other day. They were some of the last photos I took while I was back in California. Life has suddenly switched into fast mode and seems to pass by with record speed. Though I have been neglecting my blog in the midst of moving and starting a new job (and really-a new life) I have found myself journaling and drawing more than ever. I hope to share more of that here.
Last night I wasn't feeling very well (a combination of rampant hormones and sinus congestion) and my boyfriend has been sick all week so we were both watching Netflix in bed with a candle burning. I was tossing and turning trying to fall asleep with the sound of a wild thunder storm raging outside. I've always been one to hide under the covers during bouts of crazy lightning and thunder, but for the first time in my life, I recognized the beauty and peace that comes with a storm. within minutes I was dreaming vividly, as I have been so often lately.
life truly is beautiful. especially the storms.